As I sit at my desk filling out MORE papers for Joseph's school for next year, so that he can receive all the services that he needs and realizing that Maggie will also need speech help, I have to giggle ...  WHEN DOES IT EVER SLOW DOWN !!!  Tomorrow I will get Jeremiah, Elijah, Emily, and Maggie up at 6 and out the door to school at 6:50 proceeded by getting Daisy up (who is NOT a morning person) ready for MDO at 9am, along w/ Joseph's bag packed for his school at 12:30 ... Now before Joseph goes to school we might have time for a quick 45 minute trip to the YMCA (my sanity time) and then off to pick up Emily, Maggie, and Elijah (who have 1/2 day tomorrow) ... We will go somewhere quick for lunch so that we can get Joseph to school on-time and then RUSH OVER to Daisy's MDO for her Mother's Day event at school ... I am sure I will scarf down some punch and cookies, so that we can then SCOOT back on over to FRA where Scott and I will tag team parent/teacher conferences ... Once the teachers have told us about how amazing our children are (hee hee) then we will JUMP right back in the Silver Bullet (that is my pet name for my van) and DART back over to pick up Daisy.  Once we are home we will wait patiently for the school bus to drop off Joseph and grab a snack AND THE FIRST BREATH of the day ...

I would love to say that this is NOT a typical day, but it is ... RUNNING, DARTING, JUMPING, AND RUSHING from one place to the next - schools, dr. appts, adoption meetings, house hold errands, or 147 work.   Scott and I have done our very best to NOT over commit ourselves or put the children in lots of programs or activities.  Jeremiah and Elijah are the only ones that play a sport.  They play on the same basketball team that Scott coaches, so that is definitely a family affair ... The girls haven't asked to do anything yet, so we are not pushing it or rushing it ... Just our daily lives seem cram packed, yet I know this time is but a VAPOR and I want to enjoy the CHAOS and feel blessed to be able to RUN, DART, JUMP, AND RUSH with and for my family ...

I am not going to say it isn't draining because that wouldn't be a REAL picture of my life ... Keeping up with the laundry alone is enough to put me under some days ... But the phrase that always rings in my head is - I WOULDN'T HAVE IT ANY OTHER WAY ...  So if you see me and I look tired, mad, or scattered just know that it is the same heart beating as when I look showered, peppy, joyful, and refreshed ... I often think that when others see me, they are immediately assessing WHETHER MY LIFE IS WORTH IT based on that exact moment they see me in.   That would be a HUGE mistake !!! I am in the middle of the most joyful time of my life ... I adore my husband, love my children, and feel so secure in my purpose here on earth for the kingdom, but that doesn't mean that my life doesn't go sideways on a daily basis ...

I guess I am just hoping that when people are on the fence about joining the orphan crisis or deciding whether they should or shouldn't adopt that they don't look at those of us who have and catch us on a bad day and think I DON'T WANT THAT ... Cause we can all gain wisdom from each other and get lots of information, but it is the journey on the inside of our hearts that is the true test of our faith and commitment to the LORD ...

So look and wonder, but never judge or assume ... Do always listen to the STILL QUIET WHISPER OF THE LORD ... That is where JOY is found ...

I hope that all made sense ... blessings BLOG FAMILY  !!! thanks for loving us ...

If I have heard it once I have heard it a million times ... "The funding of an adoption is hard" ... I get it ... We did it 3 times on a teacher's salary ... It is hard work !!! It takes being creative !!! It takes being vulnerable to others !!! It takes allowing others to help !!! It is just plain ole hard and difficult at times ...

ONE OF THE BIGGEST REASONS WE CREATED 147 MILLION ORPHANS was to help you fundraise ... To make it easy ... To give you a product to help raise the funds, while sharing your story of adoption ... A product that once it leaves your hands will still be a VERY BIG STORY for the orphans of the world ...

We wanted to honor MICHELLE our fantabulous fundraising coordinator who just brought home her son last week from Uganda by helping you !!!!  WE ARE OFFERING 10 FREE UGANDAN NECKLACES when you purchase $200 worth of fundraising items ... It is like a free $200 grant to you ... So if you know of anyone needing help with fundraising please share our website w/ them ... Why re-invent the wheel ... LET US HELP YOU ... I am attaching a video of one of our fundraising family's testimony ... I hope it encourages you and lets you know that you are not alone ...

You were always picked last ??? in class, at school, w/ your friends, at church, or just in life ... How would you feel ??? NOW what if are sitting in a orphanage wondering why you are NEVER picked ??? If you will ever measure up to someone's standards for their family ... Are you too short, not cute enough, not smart enough, not happy enough, to much energy, not thankful enough, can't walk, can't talk, are angry all the time, need lots of medicine, or just simply to old by adoption standards ...

If I have learned one thing about adoption it is that you can't CREATE THIS LIST FOR YOUR CHILD AND WHAT THEY WILL BE LIKE, LOOK LIKE, ACT LIKE, INTELLIGENCE LEVEL OR ANYTHING ELSE ... And why would you - don't we all want what God wants and HE DOESN'T MAKE ANY MISTAKES IN CREATING HIS CHILDREN !!!

I am thankful to the families I have watched be stretched and shine a light on the many children out there that would have been CHOSEN last, yet they saw JESUS in the child/children's faces and MADE THEM FAIMLY !!! You have taught me much !!!

Truth is there are some amazing treasures hidden out there just waiting to be CHOSEN first !!!

Have a blessed weekend !!!

No one on this earth says it better (for me at least) than my sweet friend and sister KATIE ... If you haven't already read this post then please do ... LET IT WASH OVER YOU !!!

I am always inspired by her to seek a deeper relationship with the LORD ... It encourages me to seek HIS face and HIS direction for my life ... It gives my lungs a chance to BREATHE deep and soak in all that SCRIPTURE explains to me ... WOW, we are the most blessed people on the planet to KNOW and SERVE the LIVING GOD !!!

There is no half way w/ my Daisy ... She is full on LIFE !!! She does nothing half way ... crying, laughing, belly giggling, screaming, playing, drawing, taking a bath, eating, walking or running ... She is one big bundle of ME ME ME !!! hee hee ... I am not going to lie and tell you that she isn't a HAND FULL ... Oh my word she has pushed more buttons and even created a few I didn't know I had ... But the beauty of watching her cling to her family, find her place, and begin to love us all is BEAUTIFUL ... Her little giggle and smile will almost blind you it is so cute ... I watch her push my buttons and know that she is testing that love that she wants so badly ... You see it is such a contrast to Joseph because he just gives loves freely ... And to watch her struggle to accept it and yet to feel that longing she has to have it ... It breaks my heart ... We are her 4th place to be since birth ... We all know feelings of abandonment are real no matter your age and it is something I try my best to understand for her ... There are days when my nerves are so shot from being ON GUARD all day w/ her trying to make her feel secure and loved that I just want to scream I AM YOUR MAMA AND I AM NOT GOING ANYWHERE !!! Now obviously that wouldn't get me anywhere, but it does make my mind feel better to think it ... hee hee ...

She may only be three, but she is smart as a whip ... She is so bright and has the voice of an angel ... I love to catch her playing, laying in her bed, or just walking around the house singing ... She has a gift in her voice and it's precious sound makes me think of JESUS ... She just started Mother's Day Out last week and they had a program which she participated in w/ flying colors, because she already knew most of the songs or could memorize them in 2 days ... SHE WALKED UP ON THAT STAGE AND DID AMAZING for her very first time ...

She is a strong little stinker and I see so much OATSVALL in her ... I am thankful to be her mother !!!

I find myself on a daily basis trying to compare my thinking to scripture ... Trying to figure out this AMERICAN GOODNESS concept w/ what actually lines up with scripture ... We are so bombarded each day with what the world thinks about HOW WE LOOK, HOW WE ACT, HOW WE GIVE, HOW WE SERVE, HOW WE SAVE, WHAT WE DRIVE, WHERE WE LIVE, ETC ...  that it is easy for it to seep into our lives and become our way of life and thinking ... but it is what SCRIPTURES SAYS that should be our measuring stick or our focal point ... It is like we have on glasses w/ a prescription that doesn't work when we listen to the world - blurry, confusing, and GIVES US A BIG OLE HEADACHE ...

This is just my thought for the day ... LOVE TO YOU ALL AND HAVE A BLESSED WEEKEND

I am writing this from a very deep place ... I have an ache and a peace that I do not understand how they co-exist together ... I sat in the doctor's office today (again) waiting to see the doctor to discuss once again what our options were to repair MAGGIE'S whole in her skull ... Scott and I have been praying for direction and for our doctor to give us guidance because we are NOT DOCTORS and are quite honestly at a loss ... We prayed for some specifics and they were answered today ... We have chose a procedure that will cut the top layer of another part of Maggie's skull to fill this whole in her head ... ARE THERE RISKS ???  To many to count, but this is our best course of action for MAGGIE ... To heal her outward wounds ...

I am not going to pretend anything here ... I got in my VAN and felt like an elephant was on my chest ... I was at peace because God had answered our prayers and showed us a direction, but I was lost in my own ability to cope with this ...

I actually remembered back to the time I was pregnant with Jeremiah and all the prayers that went in to praying him HEALTHY ... I was devastated with a miscarriage before him and I was so nervous and scared ... I realized after the miscarriage how badly I wanted to be a mother ... I prayed and prayed and prayed and prayed for Jeremiah and for him to be healthy ... AND AS I SAT IN MY CAR TODAY, I analyized why did I pray that way ... And I knew it was because I was trying to stay away from the very situation I AM IN RIGHT NOW ... I wanted safe and easy ... I didn't want to be out of my comfort zone ... I didn't want to spend hours and hours and days and days and months and months and years and years  doing the exact thing I am doing now w/ Maggie and w/ Joseph ... Now don't misunderstand because I think we all pray for the health of our children and WE SHOULD ... But we need to be prepared when GOD CALLS US OUT OF THE BOAT or places us in an entirely opposite situation than we prayed for ... God opened a door for us and there is not an ounce of me that regrets WALKING THROUGH ... I sometimes get scared at the thought of missing this journey with Maggie ... I was a selfish, selfish person before my children came into my life ... As the Lord has added each ONE he has made me smaller and HIM BIGGER ... I rely on HIM every second of my day because there is no other way to get through it ... Doctor visits for two, special schools, extra attention, being ON-GUARD ALL DAY LONG, preparing a home for them all, giving them all attention, helping w/ homework, going to ball games, prayer time, outside time, dinner time, bath time and the list goes on and on ... IT IS EXHAUSTING, but it all falls right off my shoulders when my MAGGIE says, "YOU MY BESTEST MOM EVER !!!" ... I truly feel like she says that because she remembers her life w/out us ... She is healing on the inside in a way I didn't know was possible ... She is showing people Jesus and teaching me how to GIVE and LOVE on a level that I didn't know I had ...

Am I scared for the next surgery ???? YOU BET I AM ... That is my baby ... The child God picked for me and the child WE CHOOSE to be ours going under the knife again on her precious little head ... Does my stomach turn, my head get confused, and my emotions go all over the place ... YOU BET ... I am not strong enough for this journey, but I SERVE A GOD THAT IS and HE never leaves me ... The weaker and more submissive I am the MORE I can hear, see, and know HIM ...

I will always be thankful to Scott for understanding the calling I heard from the Lord to adopt and for holding my hand as we walked by FAITH into the unknown journey of adoption ...

We sorta of think MAGGIE has her own FAN CLUB AROUND THE WORLD ... hee hee ... AKA HER PRAYER WARRIORS (I say world because sweet little Matthew lives in HONG KONG and he has prayed for her since she came home) ... We appreciate YOU soooooo much ...