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Thursday, July 8, 2010

What Is Your Fairytale ???


This is my family !!!  I have been thinking a lot about the Radical book by David Platt, our daily life right now, 147 Million Orphans, Amazima, and so much more ... I think I paint a pretty real picture of our lives and I have no idea how many people read my blog, but it has been requested that since I have a large audience (not sure if that is true), but that I have an obligation to tell the truth about adoption and make sure people understand what the journey REALLY looks like ... I will say this sorta of didn't sit well w/ me since I think I do and it is my blog so I get to write what I want ... 

TRUTH #1

No two adoption journeys are alike ... I have had easy, hard and beyond difficult !!

TRUTH #2

I have been wiping bottoms for the last 12 years (except for a one year break) ... Do I like wiping nasty just came home, stomach adjusting poop to start my day ... NO WAY, but I am the MOM so I do ...

TRUTH #3

Your body adjusts to NO SLEEP ... Don't forget to take care of yourself (I try my best to workout 5 days a week), but the bottom line is we are called to die to self everyday ... So waking in the middle of the night to a screaming tantrum child, who is healing from trauma is what I do because I am a MOM ... 

TRUTH #4 

I don't like laying down w/ my kids at night ... I have been w/ them all day - playing, laughing, feeding, healing booboos, kissing foreheads, and tickling silly, so at bedtime I just want them to go to bed ... I have a million things to do and if I lay w/ one child then I have to lay w/ 6 and by the end of that I am toast !!! But I lay down w/ kids because I have one who needs me to feel secure to go off to bed and I do this because I am a MOM ... 

TRUTH #5

I don't like putting bandaids on pretend injuries ... I am a pull yourself up by your boot straps kind of girl ... Both of my parents worked as I was growing up, so I learned how to take care of myself and my brother pretty early in life ... I don't like whiners or cry babies, but when the cries and whines come from a deep place within a child that is really just testing if you LOVE THEM OR NOT then I put a smile get out the bandaids and pretend we are preforming a serious operation ... I do that because I am a MOM!

TRUTH #6 

More people could do what I do because I am no one special ... I am just a MOM being available to the Lord ... 

I could go on and on about this, but the bottom line is that if you think I live a fairytale life or you want a fairytale adoption journey then you are living a fantasy world ... I am living out the fairytales that are written about in scripture ... 

SERVING
GIVING
DYING TO SELF
LOVING THE LEAST OF THESE
TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT JESUS
SEEING MY BROTHERS / SISTERS THAT ARE HURTING 

Prince Eric/ Ariel ... Prince Charming / Sleeping Beauty ... Cinderella / Prince ... Jasmine / Alladin ... Got nothing on Scott and I !!! You decide which FAIRY TALE you want to live out on this earth because it will determine which life you live for eternity ...

51 kind words.:

Goosegirl said...

Gwen, that was beautiful and so true. I have not walked the road you have 4 times. I have only completed the beginning of the journey once. But it is hard every day. And just because our children are beautiful, and look perfect in blog pictures, does not mean they are wonderful all the time. Parenting is so hard, every minute. But I love how open and honest you are with your journey.
I do not see it as a fairytale, though I have two girls who aspire to be princesses.
I am not one who thinks you are living a fairytale. But I am one who sees you as a real life hard working miracle mom. Thank you for sharing your journey.

Kim said...

I just had the book Radical given to me and a message placed in it by the author to me personally..
I LOVE this post..
I love how you are always soo honest. .
love you Sister..
Adoption is WONDERFUL.
Can't wait to wipe booty..
Hugs..
Ok.. have to ask.. did you cut off the sleeves of a long sleeve jersey shirt??? or do you have them in short sleeve now???

Mama D.'s Dozen said...

Great post!

I have definitely read "fairytale" blogs, and yours is NOT one of them. :)

I, on the other hand, get thrown into the fire by adoptive parents that are mad at me for TELLING THE TRUTH about some of the challenges of adoption. Oh yes. Serious judgement I have faced for being HONEST about the adoption CRISIS our family walked through this past year.

At the same time, I have written MANY posts about the JOYS that come from adopting. I am NOT a "doom and gloom" adoptive parent. Oh no. Not at all.

But ... I am honest. Our adoption has NOT been a fairytale.

Now ... parenting a dozen children is also not the type of fairtytale that most people would sign up for. But, we wouldn't trade it for the world.

Oh no ... we are not Prince Charming and Cinderella ... but we have an AWESOME and AMAZING life because we are walking out the journey that the Lord designed just for our family.

Big Hugs from another "not princess".

Laurel :)

Mama D.'s Dozen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kristin said...

That was awesome!! I LOVE that last line! I love reading your blog, though I rarely comment. But, I read Radical after hearing about it on your blog and I loved it! Thank you so much for sharing your life and keeping it real! It always inspires me!!

Mom to 9 Blessings! said...

AMEN! Bravo!

Love you - another fairytale living Mom!
Jill

Jenn 24:12 said...

Gwen, I have been reading your blog for quite some time and more than anything I can see the honesty of your daily struggles coming through so beautifully in your writing. I don't think that you paint a picture of perfection or unrealistic expectations, but a willingness to see the beauty within the ugliness that so much of the world sees. This is why I continue to seek out your blog and use it to help prepare my heart for the adoption that my family hopes to begin at the first of the new year. Thank you for continuing to inspire me!

connie said...

Amazing fairytale come true! Thank you, Gwen, for being real and for loving the Lord with your life!!!!
Blessings~

Nancy said...

I love it. And, I think I love you--who cares if we've never met. :) Keeping it real and talking about what really matters. I don't believe you're living in a fairytale beyond the one knowing you're making a difference in this world and living the life God intended for you and that has to feel better than being a princess!

kelli wetsel said...

I love this and your dirty,messy,ugly,beautiful, real life fairytale.

The Wells Family said...

You are indeed living the dream! God's Dream...you are the exact kind of Princess He dreams of! I wanna be just like you!! :) We have 2 boys and waiting on TA for baby girl in China! This is just the beginning for us! I can feel it! Thank you so much for doing what you do. Not only are you an amazing person/mom, but you are an inspiration to so many! Changing the world...one person at a time!

Angie

Carin said...

Love this--it's very inspiring and uplifting. Thank you for sharing!

Shonni said...

I loved this and appreciate the truth here...
Mom to 11,
soon 12
Shonni

Kathy said...

I think it is very easy and tempting for us adoptive moms to paint a "perfect" picture and only talk about the good and not the hard, painful, hurting times. We have had a difficult time dealing with lots of unknown special needs that our daughter (SN China Adoption) has. She is wonderful beyond words, but it has been HARD ! Thank you for keeping it real and encouraging me.

Rachel said...

LOVE this!! Preach it sister! Would like to link to this post on my blog with your permission.

Susan said...

I have just finished Radical by David Platt and I will never be the same! It has changed my life, I pray every day that I will be more like Jesus and be hated, Just like Jesus. Thank you for your blog, thank you for 147 million orphans and thank you for telling truth. We have just begun our journey through adoption, but it is awesome to have someone that has been there before to follow.
Susan
allee-fam.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

And they lived happily ever after.... because in the "after" you will LIVE happily forever!

Your accounts are real. You are not a sugarcoat it type gal. You are a mom, plain and simple and you do what has to be done.

Now go sweep some floors, Inkelala.

Love, Beth

Alison said...

I love this post!! I am a faithful reader of your blog, and one reason I love it is because you are so real! I love that! Thanks for "telling it like it is" and for being such a great example to us moms just starting this adoption journey! And I love seeing your family all together...great picture!

Lee said...

AMEN SISTER!!! You are awesome because God made you that way! Keep on keeping on :)

love said...

love ya, gwen.

your family is gorgeous. i like your fairy tale. i like mine, too. bring on the adventure, God.....i love knowing the true happy ending.

Kim said...

Love this post!
I am home.
We are thru the pains of jet lag.
Dying to hook up!
Love & Blessings,
Kim

Erica said...

Whew! Preach it sister! Perfectly written! Love love love it! Oh and if I haven't said it before...WELCOME HOME!

Anonymous said...

You are such an inspiration to me. I'm 16 and when I'm old enough I hope to follow the same journey. You've helped millions of lives and encouraged me in ways you won't ever realize!! I've never even met you, yet I hope to be just like you!

Sophie said...

Love it!!

Kristi J said...

great post...loved it..see ya Monday...can't wait, kj

Kelly said...

"just a mom being available to the Lord" is a beautiful thing!!

Teresa said...

I think it's easy to believe in the "happily ever after" aspect of an orphan getting a forever family, but sometimes we have to be real and understand that the majority of these children suffer trauma during the transition - no matter how much we love them. Yes, the trauma will subside and they need extra love and attention to help them through. As adoptive parents, we need to understand that and know that we will get tired, but we need to persevere for years, perhaps. We tend to think in terms of our 1-hour TV programs and not in real life.

I know one wonderful adoptive mom of many adopted children who had one child who became increasingly despondent after they adopted her. After much prayer, she found a family who raised 18+ children, many who were special needs like her daughter. They spoke and made arrangements for her to live with them to see if she is happier there. She flourished in their care and the second adoption was complete. She blogged about it and received many comments commending her on her honesty and it helped many families struggling with children who were not happy with their adoption. Sometimes we are not the family, but the bridge to get that child to the right family.

Yes, adoption can be messy, difficult, and exhausting, but every child is worth it.

Jenn in GA said...

preach it, sister! the last line of your post was the clincher, and i will be pondering it for the rest of the day, i'm sure.

fantastic photo too! add it to the blog header--in all your spare time--so that everyone visiting will know that everyone is HOME!

Heather said...

From this "Princess Mama" to you, another "Princess Mama" I say, "BEAUTIFUL POST!" I have walked this adoption journey three times and have days that I wonder how we are going to make it...but most days are filled with laughter, legos, barbies and hugs. The hugs are, hands down, better than anything! I also can't tell you how many "fake" boo-boos I have taken care of on Maddie. It was MONTHS before she would acknowledge that she was hurt when we brought her home. I remember she fell on the sidewalk about 1 week after getting home and refused to acknowledge the horrible, bloody scrap on her sweet knee. It was then that I began to make a big deal over every scrap! She quickly learned that Princess Mama kisses are the best in the world! Almost daily there is an invisible boo-boo for me to take care of!

Melinda said...

Oh Gwen, this was beautiful and so true! Love your heart and your beautiful family! I just love, love, love looking at the family God created for you!

shell said...

best post i have read this week. thank you!

Marie-Claude said...

Amen, so true. It's easy to make adoption look easy and cool when we are out and about with are children. But, when asked, I tell the true, it's beautiful, wonderful but the hardest adventure you will get in (for those who thought it would be easy). These kids are in great needs and is a traumatic experience for them to adjust. But everytime I would wake up in the middle of the night to night terrors and reassure my babies, it was the most precious time bonding, pure love I could have in my day. I could see fear in their eyes, with love, prayers and patience, I came to see a look of ''oh I was just checking if you would come mommy'', now our nights are calm (our kids are getting older) days are crazy busy but I would simply not trade this day job for anything in the world. Yes being a mom to orphans is wonderful, hard but so rewarding, these kids are so worth it.

Marie-Claude
Montreal

woosterweester said...

Preach it sista! I am gonna point others to this post to be inspired and challenged. I know it did me in!:) Blessings!
--Rory

Anonymous said...

Thank you Gwen, your words are beautiful and so real. I have 2 miracles from China (one NSN and one SN). Being a mom is the most challenging most rewarding job in the world. Marida

Anonymous said...

You and Suzanne must have both been hit by the same thing... the entry on reality check was beautiful and touching. *hugs* to both of you.

Jessica Bish
jbish@iup.edu

Joyeful said...

Wow. What a wonderful post full of some much TRUTH! And the love of Jesus is just oozing from every word--SERVING, GIVING, DYING TO SELF, LOVING THE LEAST OF THESE! I've been so blessed by my visit here today!

Mrs. McGoo said...

"TRUTH #6

More people could do what I do because I am no one special ... I am just a MOM being available to the Lord ... "

LOVE THIS - the Bible is full of stories of ORDINARY people that God uses in extraordinary ways! Thanks for being one of those folks! Preach it, sista!

Andy, Charity, Noah, Heath and Elijah said...

Wow what an awesome post. I think you do an amazing job showing the "real" life of adoption - that's ONE of the many reasons I think we all come here regularly to see what's going on. Thanks for being such a WILLING Mom. We love ya. And I'd watch your fairytale movie any day. ;0)
Blessings sister,
Charity

Angel said...

Well said!

Are These Kids All Yours? said...

LOVE this post....and I would sooo love to meet you someday because we are so similar...

LOVE it!

Josette said...

Beautifully said. I've just started listening to Radical on audio...I've already decided when I've finished my teenagers will be required to listen or read it as well. I don't know yet what radical looks like for my family, I'm sure God will show me :)

Laine said...

Gwen I think you keep it real all the time...you are a "glass half full" kinda gal...and that is AWESOME! What a wonderful attitude you have...a great example and inspiration to so many of us! I love your heart. And oh my goodness I LOVE that pic of your big ol' family! Seeing Joseph and Daisy in there just makes me so happy! They are walking reminders to persevere in prayer and prayer changes lives! We prayed them home, and GOD ANSWERED AND BROUGHT THEM HOME!!!!
I love reading your posts!
Lots of hugs,
Laine

Emily said...

Beautifully written Gwen! I love your honesty - its not easy work being a Mom but it is so rewarding! Love ya sister!

Tammy said...

I just love you and I love this post. I was just telling Tony how I am usually convicted and challenged when I read your blog. Keep sharin'! : )

Diane and family:) said...

YES!!!!!

Leigh Ann said...

Beautifully said...love ya!

Terri said...

Amen Sister, you rock!!! Would LOVE to spread your word & post your blog to others if that is OK?

Christie said...

Gwen, that was beautiful. I agree with every last piece of truth you wrote.

That was such a great way to end my day...and I must admit, it was filled with Truth #1. But it's what we do...right?

Love this...

Lisa Kindred said...

Could not have been written more beautiful. You are truly an amazing woman of God that is doing just as the Lord asks us. he never said life would be easy. thank you for sharing. i love and miss you. Expect a catch up call soon. Lisa

David and Marianne said...

This was wonderful Gwen. My husband is a youth pastor and I am often in discussions about "fairytales" with girls... PRAYING God will give them spiritual eyes to see the lie that there is a prince charming waiting to swoop them away into forever happiness and that their REAL prince charming is JESUS! And I agree whole heartedly that some can fantasize adoption... praise God for the life giving words you "spoke" through this post. Scripture says we can bring life or death with our tongues... I suppose that goes for our keys on the keyboard too : )

Praying for you as you continue to adjust and transition.

Marianne Gross

The Raudenbush Family said...

Hello,

My husband and I are launching a new website next week featuring helpful blog posts and encouraging and challenging articles from a Christian perspective related to orphan care and adoption. We are currently looking for personal blog posts that we can repost on the site (giving full credit to the original author). This post is exactly the kind of post we are looking for. Could you come check out our work in progress and let me know if you would be willing to allow us to repost your blog post?

We would also need a short blurb about you to post on the bottom of the piece. And, you would have to let me know if you would also want your blog address published or if you would want it kept private. Please let me know!

Thanks,
Kelly
www.wearegraftedin.com