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Wednesday, April 10, 2013

RESTLESS ...

Once you get used to God's roller coaster of a ride in your life you begin to expect it ... You start holding your breath or screaming as the BIG DIPS and CURVES come and the butterflies flutter in your stomach ... You even begin to think and try to anticipate what HIS NEXT ADVENTURE is for you ... You remember how crazy some of the rides have been so you begin preparing and bracing yourself for what is to come, but in reality if your not careful and you plan to much, think to much, or you brace yourself for the NEXT big loop to SOON then you really are not living by FAITH as much as you should ... You are trying to coax or maneuver God ... I think perhaps that is where I am right now ... We have had another BIG CHANGE to our lives ... (I know none of you are shocked by this fact) ... And I think I sorta put my hand up to brace myself and in turn have blocked God a bit ... I am completely baffled when I look back over the last 7 years and how God took my quiet, safe, normal life and turned it UP SIDE DOWN for Him ... I remember how scary the first YES was and how as we got closer to him as a family that the YESs came easier and the CHAOS was a way of life ... It was even laughable at times ... But now I feel like the YESs are creaking out of my mouth because in reality I really want to tell GOD what I will say YES to first and then let him put that ONE THING in front of me ... I am RESTLESS about letting him CHOOSE my YES journey ... So even though I know I will say YES to Jesus I am a bit GUN SHY these days ... I am weary of CHANGE and seriously would just like to be a bit of an OSTRICH and stick my head in the sand ... hee hee ... JUST KEEPIN IT REAL ... I know I am up for anything with JESUS and my heart has surrendered to him and yet the RESTLESS moments linger around me these days ...

Fight the resisting heart and make sure your faith when tested understands that complete surrender is the ONLY way to live a joyful and fulfilling life !!!

love you all and thanks for listening to my rambles !!!






3 kind words.:

yellodaisy said...

I hear ya! We had just completed the first round of paperwork for an international adoption when God stopped us in our tracks. Instead, we are now taking in two preteen boys with the foster-to-adopt program in our state. Sometimes I just have to laugh at how I make a plan, then He changes it!

Jill said...

You echo my heart, friend. We both seem to know "faith without works is dead". I am in a phase of life with God currently, where He is speaking to my heart: "Be Still, Jill. I know that is hard for you and I know you struggle with this concept. Be still IS an action. How will you really know what I, GOD, want you to do, if you don't stop every once in awhile to let me search your heart while you fall more in love with ME." Adoption and other ministries for God give you such a rush that you just want to keep on, keeping on, but we are told and scripture and we must remember verses like Psalm 27:14 and Isaiah 40:13, with me constantly talking with myself and God reminding myself "those who WAIT upon the LORD WILL renew their strength" and I also know if I wait on Him. He will reveal His greatest unexpected blessings, than what I can dream up in this little ole stubborn head of mine. Blessings and love friend!

~Joelle said...

Gwen, I adore you!!! :) I love that you say that the yes(es) have become easier. We said our first real yes years ago and since, I feel like God keeps asking bigger and more difficult yes(es). Things that require more and more faith... Things that if God doesn't show up, we are in trouble! I guess that's the best place to be though. We really are learning what it means to depend on Him. I told you on FB that we are in the process of adopting two older girls from Ghana and I know this yes will be the most challenging yet. Your blog serves a great reminder of what faithful following looks like! Keep it up!!! :)

Blessings!!!