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Monday, March 4, 2013

Never 2 Forget ...

It is nights like tonight when I am reminded by the Lord that past struggles can rear their little heads and can remind us of how far we have come and yet still how far we have to go ...

My angel girl Maggie is struggling to sleep this past week and in her tears I can see the REAL FEAR that pops up every now and again ... You see it used to be a daily occurrence for the first year and half she was home ... We never slept much in those days and the FEAR was so overwhelming for her that I felt useless as her mother to help her ... God was so sweet and gentle to remind me each day to LOVE HER LIKE CHRIST and not to worry about meeting an expectation, but to LOVE AND LOVE AND LOVE ... I look back on that time and realize that it was with out a doubt my most sweet and humbling time with the Lord ... I sunk deep into him because I was literally drowning with all the pain, struggles, and hurt that my Maggie was battling  ... HE gave me all I needed to help her to heal ... It is weeks like this when the scars are showing that I dig in a little deeper to HER and HIM so that we can wade through the pain together ... She was extra clingy this weekend and I will admit that at times I shrugged it off because I was so BUSY and then tonight we just had to sit, hug, cuddle, and talk through her sadness ... You see she can't explain it in words, but it is THERE IN HER EYES ... I know when my baby is deep in her hurt and doesn't know why ... It hit me tonight that we have a lot of changes coming our way with new schools, new friends, and NEW ENVIRONMENT for next year and even though she doesn't seem phased by that idea, I know she can take that and internalize it.  She lets it roam around her heart and then it pops up in different insecure ways.

So what will we do ??? We will have a little more grace, a lot more hugs, and we will stick close together till this CLOUD passes ... She is a survivor and I know she will allow us to love her through it and we will keep directing her back to the UNCONDITIONAL AND EVERLASTING love of CHRIST ...  WHAT A PRIVILEGE IT IS TO BE HER MOTHER !!! Jesus, thank you for the amazing Gift of MAGGIE !!!

2 kind words.:

Louise said...

Maggie is so cute and you are such an amazing mother. God Bless you all. Louise

Kristi said...

Dear sister,
Oh the prayers we have prayed and will continue to pray for sweet Maggie. You are amazing, friend. Will pray for your family and all the changes. Miss you. Was so happy to get your email back in December!
Kristi H.