Followers

Blog Archive

There was an error in this gadget
Sunday, January 8, 2012

Kids that love to play sports and the PARENTS that are ruining it ...

I could write a book on this subject ... I have coached for over 10 years, been a wife of a coach for almost 20 years, and I have 3 kids that are currently playing sports ranging from ultra competitive travel to recreation league.  They love it and PARENTS RUIN IT ...

I am a parent that loves competition and all that a team can teach a child ... I want to win every time one of my kids take the field/court (I mean that is why they keep score), but if we lose then we lose ... We work harder for the next game and we congratulate the other team ...

I played 3 sports growing up and some of the best times of my life were spent w/ my team, competing, and building relationships ... It taught me a lot about how to get along w/ different types of people, how hard work can build character, and how to push through in some tough situations ...

I have watched Jeremiah especially and now as Elijah plays more I can see the relationships they build w/ people on their team and other teams ... I see them make friendships with other kids that share their love for a sport whether they are on the same team or not ... I have seen them talk, fb, and bump fist after a good play whether they are on the same team or the other team ... I have witnessed a true brotherhood/sisterhood because of their shared interest ... And as parents we should encourage this ... Just because someone is at another school or another team doesn't mean they are our enemy ... SERIOUSLY - it is time to grow up and start taking a cue from our children ...

Why do parents feel they have to have such a DISLIKE for the other team ... Why do parents have to yell at other people's children and clap when someone makes a mistake ... Why do parents feel when they lose they GOT CHEATED ...

One regret I have in life was when we were at a certain school ( and new to the area)  and I allowed myself for the first time to follow the community I was in and DISLIKE other teams based solely on what I was told ... I wanted to be part of the crowd ... part of the community and I followed blindly ... This was totally my fault and a weakness I had to belong ... Age, wisdom, and a lot of experience has taught me to give everyone a chance first, be kind, and have good sportsmanship ... And what an amazing JOY that is because it has opened up my mind and heart to many new friendships ... I think at this point I can say that I have sweet friendships w/ other parents at all the schools my children play against and I pray this will continue as the younger ones find their areas of interest ...

STOP AND GIVE PEOPLE A CHANCE ... CHEER FOR YOUR CHILD AND WISH THE BEST FOR THE OTHER CHILDREN PLAYING ... There will always be a loser and a winner at the end of a game, but we can all be winners if we show kindness and grace after ...

I know the LORD really doesn't care about who wins or loses a game, but HE does have expectations of how we should ACT while we play ... We are to give him the glory and the honor in ALL THAT WE DO ...  As parents, lets not ruin it for our children ... They can build great friends on the fields/courts of play and we should encourage that ...

While I would consider us a SPORTS FAMILY there is something I feel that is far greater to do w/ my child than sports and that is the mission field ... To date taking Jeremiah to Uganda w/ me is in the TOP 10 BEST MOMENTS OF MY LIFE ... We leave next week for Honduras and I will be taking Jeremiah and Elijah with me on this trip and I am beyond GIDDY !!! Please pray that God will move their hearts one more step closer to him !!!

IF YOU WANT TO TRULY DO SOMETHING THAT WILL CHANGE YOUR CHILD FOREVER AND GIVE WHATEVER THEY DO A DEEPER MEANING THEN TEACH YOUR CHILD TO SERVE ON THE MISSION FIELD - whether that mission field is down the street or across the ocean SERVING others will teach them a kindness and humbleness that will change their WHOLE life ... It will make them a better athlete, a better student, a better friend, a better son/daughter, and help them to grow deeper in love with CHRIST ...

have a blessed week !!!











10 kind words.:

Jodi said...

ohhh yeah!!! I got into a bit of a rumble when I tried to encourage a coach to calm down - especially as he is a pastor in town. His wife told me that his ministry has nothing to do with what he does on the soccer field. Ohhhhh reeeeaaaaalllly? :)

What an exciting trip y'all have coming up! Will be praying for y'all!

Leigh said...

Our 7 yr old played his 1st Upward Basketball game yesterday at our church. Such a positive experience!!

Kim said...

AMEN Sister!! As a mother of a state champion gymnast, I am far more concerned with her heart and her character than her skills and her medals. When she is at the top of the podium and turns to the girls in............................................................................ 2nd and 3rd place and say's, "good job", that means more to me than the top finishes. It's called competition and winning IS important, but while she will be a gymnast for only part of her life, she will carry the lessons learned, the successes AND the failures with her through her life.

And YES! The parents completely ruin it! Some actually hope the competition will fall off the beam so our girls will have an advantage. Really? I desire my daughter to do her best against the best!

My experience is some of the parents are way to invested in it all. Why? Because they sacrifice a lot on the home front. ie: travelling, few family dinners around the table, financial commitment, etc. We are a society that requires a return on our investment and sadly for many, that "return" needs to look like what the world says is important.

In my opinion, our children will become far better athletes as God opens their eyes and hearts to His world and His heart. They will carry that with them to the field, to the team and to the sport.

Paul Wrather said...

Well I ask myself what were we taught...then I think most of what we learned we witnessed. I can never remember an ill word toward another team by either our mother or father. Work hard, team first. Yeah that sounds a little more familiar. It's funny how coaching could come so natural to either one of us as competitive as we were. Note that when I say that, I mean coaching and knowing that winning or losing was never the concern, but the outcome of young individuals overall development. I believe M.J. said it best when he stated that he learned more from a loss than any win he ever had. I have always believed that if you practiced well and showed improvement in the game there is never an actual loss, only small steps of success toward a goal of learning as a team.
My stepping stone in this process came seven years ago in Cincinnati, Ohio in a 3v3 soccer tournament where we displayed a poor performance in bracket play. The next day we showed up for really no chance to place, but probably to be someone else's stepping stone to the finals. At half time we were down 3-0. I was coaching and began to mentally pack my bags for the ride home after this game. I learned an important lesson that day...I was not playing in that game nor on the field of play, my daughter Mackenzie however was and began a comeback that inspired her teammates to rally...we played four more games that day and never ended up on the bottom end of the scorecard...somehow they knew it was more about winning a medal or not and more about their teammates. That day they played for each other and I learned a valuable lesson about being a part of team that plays for each other and not some individual goal. On a seperate note three of those girls still play together and stood together yesterday on the field and had simialr success. I'm proud of them for everything that they have accomplished together and also what they have taught me about the spirit of a team. Gwen, you continue to inspire what it means to be a part of a team...I love ya!

Angela Gentry said...

Love this Gwen!!! I too am very competitive and believe you should always take the court/field with intentions on winning. I also believe that there are great lessons to be learned by losing. That is why I started my kids to play team sports because it teaches them early on how to deal with loss, how to work together as a team, how what YOU do affects others and of course how to build relationships! The only time I will ever be disappointed w/ my kids whether they win or lose is if they didnt put their best effort into it. Sports are a great metaphor for life and can be used to teach many valuable lessons. Love your post girl!

The Castles said...

Well said!!!! I totally agree!

Anonymous said...

I love reading your updates, but mostly how you continually direct me unto the right path, and to what God truely wants for each of us..Though I have no children, I pray that one day I will and then I can be as good a role model to my child as you are to yours...Blessings to you and your family.

Amanda
British Columbia, Canada.

Anonymous said...

My husband plays baseball for the Texas Rangers and if anyone wants a little insight...every player in the big leagues are great friends. The MLB is a huge brotherhood. Even when some players and coaches get into an "argument" they are joking around with each other in the locker rooms right after the game. Have you ever seen a player get on base and they are talking to the baseman from the other team? They are asking how the other's kids are doing and if they have found a good church in the new city they just got traded to. My husband has found that that is an excellent time to encourage and minister. Not to mention...don't take the sports and games too seriously...the big guys don't. After my husband got the last out of the world series he wasn't hanging his head. He had a smile on his face and couldn't wait to hug and talk to his girls about what they get to do in the offseason.

Andrea Murphy

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry if my last comment sounded as if it was meant for the kids. I intended for it for perspective for parents...

andrea

Oatsvall Team said...

Andrea,

I totally what you were saying... It was very encouraging ... I think there is a lot of good out there in the stands and on the side lines ... We just need to shine brighter than the harshness that comes from some ...

blessings to your family ...

Gwen