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Friday, January 15, 2010

Hard is Hard

There are just minutes, hours, days, months, and years that are just hard ... Honestly, I am exhausted and filled w/ emotions ... Last night as Elijah (7) and Emily (5) were leaving their visit with Maggie they just started crying ... You see the Oatsvall Team is a home body group ... We love it when all of us are under one roof  (that includes Joseph and Daisy)... I think they know when Mom is in China or Africa bringing home their sibling and they do well, but mom down the street at the hospital NOT SO WELL ... I felt bad for their hearts ... They miss me and their sister being home ...  I miss being HOME !!

The doctors are keeping us another day and pumping Maggie w/ IV meds to help prevent infection in the future ... They took off her  head-dressing today and the shock set in ... Her head is bald and looks like two small bricks have been inserted into her head .. Her noggin is comely square ... I know she is beautiful and we tell her this all the time, but I remember the first year home when she wouldn't look people in the eye for fear of their response to her appearance ... You see in China she was shunned and pointed at and laughed at (believe me I know .... people did it to her while I was holding her ... they were lucky I wasn't on U.S. soil or I would have given them a good swift slap w/ the Holy Word) ... Anyway, people in our community, church, YMCA, and all the little friends at the ball games just smile at her and say hello ... She is truly everyone's princess ... Maggie is so much more outgoing now .... She will actually go on the court at half-time of Daddy's games w/ Emily and do a little dancing ... I don't want anything to ruin that confidence she has in who she is and how the FATHER FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY CREATED HER ... Her head is only going to get bigger and more square looking ... So I am not a crafty mom, so I NEED SOME HELP OR SUGGESTIONS .... when I say her head is big and oddly shaped I am serious ... It won't be covered by anything small ... I am looking for something with style and sweetness (JUST LIKE MAGGIE ) and that can protect it from the cold or the sun (you see she can't have any type of lotion or sunscreen on her head due to the way it will effect the elasticity of her skin ... So I am coming to my blog family for a little help or ideas .... 

HARD IS HARD and I wouldn't trade one moment of it because if you trade any ONE thing about your life it effects everything else .... And I am just fine with being in the center of God's will and I am just fine w/ hard days filled w/ a messy house, laundry to the roof,  100's of adoption/147/Amazima emails and I am just fine w/ waiting for my call from Uganda, and I am just fine w/ staying in the hospital another day, and I am just fine w/ lots of surgeries, and I am just fine w/ whatever as long as I keep God at the center ...

Thanks for your prayers ... Please keep them coming !!!! Thanks for the meals, gift cards, visits, presents for Maggie (especially the princess costume, Kristi) and all the sweet emails ... It really does help us to never feel alone on this journey ...  CRAZY LOVE is truly the only way to live !!!

30 kind words.:

Erika Kolecki said...

Gwen, My friend makes Cancer caps for cancer patients and can crochet the sweetest little caps with flowers on them. I'm going to ask her to make one for Maggie. Sweet sweet girl. Do you have a PO Box or somewhere that I can send it? I'm in Hendersonville, but can bring it somewhere to, just let me know. Praying for you all, daily.

Erica said...

Oh sweet Gwen. Another picture of your beautiful heart. Praying for you, for sweet Maggie and the entire Oatsvall team! I'm not crafty either but I know so many women in blogland are. I'm sure you'll get TONS of great advice. :) Hugs to you and yours!!

3 Blessings said...

Still praying. I know that God will present Maggie with the perfect covering to protect her beautiful head from the cold and sun.

Jodi Widhalm said...

I'm praying for ALL of you! May His protection, healing, peace & grace be with you in ABUNDANCE!! He will see you through!

Kristi J said...

OH, she looked wonderful last night..>I love our little princess!! What an amazing girly!! kj

Jenn in GA said...

gwen, could you be sly and get a circumference measurement so we know how big we're talking here? i think it would be helpful to those who want to suggest/provide a solution to know what size to look for/make.

i'm sure you'll figure something out...bandanas won't work? know they won't be warm though. how about something with fleece?

Erin said...

what about one of those rastafarian-looking crocheted hats that people use to cover up their dreadlocks? They're fitted around the face and bigger out back, which sounds like it may work...

Love you girl! Praying!

Jenn in GA said...

did a little digging online and found this site: headcovers unlimited.

here's a link to one that i think maggie would like (there are others too):

La Dolce Vita said...

You are such an inspiration. Praying that God will protect each of you as you take post-op steps. May God give you peace and provision.

Erica said...

Hey Gwen,

I'm a long time follower of your blog, but have never commented. My 2.5 year old son and I have been laying hands on Maggie's photo on the computer screen and praying for her rapid and complete healing!

I would LOVE to knit a hat for sweet Maggie! Could you possibly send me a measurement of her head circumference so I can make sure I get the right size?!
Praying blessings upon blessings for each of you!

Erica Jenkins

rk2 said...

No suggestions--just know an old friend who is now in Hudsonville, MI is praying for you.

I do some adjunct instructing at Cornerstone U. and directed a student who is interested in interational adoptions to your site.

Rhoda Klopfenstein

Kim K. said...

Praying for you and sweet Maggie. I have the cutest hat that I think Maggie needs. It's actually large enough to fit Emma's head (she's 11) so it should work with all of Maggie's bandages. It was something I found years ago at Target and I've had it on display in the girls bedroom because it's so cute. Please send me your postal address and I'll get it in the mail.

The Byrd's Nest said...

Praying for your beautiful little Maggie.....God only creates perfect little girls;)

Mom to 9 Blessings! said...

I'm praising God for all of these wonderful solutions given to you! Thank You Father for caring about ALL the details!

Gwen our prayers remain with you and your family!

Lots of love,

Kellie said...

We have been lifting your family in prayer. We have a couple of really cute hats that might work for sweet Maggie. If you could post her head measurements, or email me at that would be helpful to see if they will fit.
We will continue to keep you in our prayers.

Williford Family said...

Gwen, we have never met, but I feel like I know you from following your blog for a few weeks now. I am a friend of suzanne's and have recently gone back to the beginning of katies blog and read the whole thing! I have a huge heart for adoption, long story. I am pretty crafty and will be happy to make something for your sweet maggie. Do you think "do-rag" look would work? That's what we called them in texas, basically like a scarf or bandanna tied around the head and left to hang over the back covering the entire head. I can pick out some real pretty fabrics and sew them up this weekend. I can have her name put on the back too! If you think this would work and like the idea, can you measure the circumference of her head and send it to me?

Praying for your family!

Jim and April said...

breaks my heart how you said people in china laughed and made fun of her! Praise God she is in a home like yours where you teach her how beautiful she is and how fearfully and wonderfully her heavenly Father made her! praying for you guys gwen!

Are These Kids All Yours? said...

YOU are an inspiration!!!!!!! I sooo just want to come and hug your family! :)

Renee said...

Prayers just went up for sweet Maggie and your whole family.

My 8 y/o just got one of those sparkly scarves everyone seems to be wearing, for Christmas. She loves it, she wears it around her head, around her neck, around her waist... Would one of those, wrapped around Maggie's head, work? Something like this:

Kim said...

Like the coach who tells his team, "No pain, no gain." as followers of Christ we know, there is no crown of comfort without a cross of suffering.
Wishing I was there to bring dinner, a gift, a hug, and lots of chocolate!
But I know that as a family who lets the hardships of life drive you all to a deeper dependence on the Lord, comfort is on the way!!!
2 Corinthians 1:4
Sending you all love, blessings and lots of prayers from Hong Kong,

Jewels of My Heart said...

Big hug sweet sister.... I will keep praying and Jesus is going to get you all through this. Thank you for allowing us to share in this journey with you.
I can make new hats or special cloth scarves for beautiful Maggie but I need an idea of what will work. Can she have loose elastic around her little head to hold it on? I will try to come up with something and then if it works let me know and I will make her more.
I love you and may God continue to bless you.
God's peace and healing,

Anonymous said... This site has an amazing number of hats/headcovers. So many colors and styles. Maggie can have a new signature look...a hat to match every outfit! Praying for your family!

Blessed Mom of Four, Now Five said...

Oh, Gwen, I can only imagine the fatigue you feel, while growing closer to Jesus all the time.
Josie-Tatum has had some of her worst meltdowns when I am away with Ellie at doctor's visits or hospital stays.
I will be praying for everyone of your precious children. Josie-Tatum continues to pray for Mrs. Gwen to soon be united with her Joseph and Daisy.
Love and prayers,

Michelle Smalling said...

Love you and praying for you sister! Maggie's journey is an inspiration to us all..

The Ferrill's said...

Oh I bet Daleea can work her sewing magic and make that sweet girl something stunning!
Gwen, I'm sending up lots of prayers for you all...yes, hard is hard; and God is good! I'm with you in heart and spirit. We have all got your back!
I will pray especially for Maggie's self esteem to remain intact and secure in the love of her Savior!
I love you and your rockin' family with big crazy love!

TanyaLea said...

Oh Gwen~ Again your beautiful heart shines through! I will continue to lift sweet Maggie and your whole family up in prayer...from the looks of it, I'm pretty sure you're covered 24/7!! May God bring your precious girl quick healing and so much love that she KNOWS she is beautifully, fearfully and wonderfully made! <><

BIG hugs,
~ Tanya

Jill Funkhouser said...

Oh that is so cute about the others hearts being so sad and wanting to be with her. We are the same kind of family. Just being with family and friends is great. We will send some things for her. That was always fun for my 2 children when they were at childrens for a few months. We will keep the prayers coming. She is so sweet and beautiful.

Debra said...

God bless you and your precious child. May he heal her completely and fill your family's hearts with peace.

andrea said...

your daughter is just perfect!!

love ya gwen!

praying for maggie tonight!

Trudy said...

Beautiful inspiring words. What about one of those slouchy hats that are popular now. They are roomy and flexible. Maybe add a flower, buttons, bow, or other embellishment {from the scrapbooking section at Michaels. I've seen the hats at Target.}