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Saturday, September 6, 2008

There Is A Longing ...

There are so many things that cause me to long to hold another child in my arms ... I see Jeremiah growing up so fast and I remember the day he entered my life and I became a mommy, a changed woman forever ... He taught me a love that was beyond myself ...I see Elijah going off to kindergarten and becoming a little more independent and I remember the long months of sitting in a recliner with him because of his massive breathing issues. He taught me that I was strong and that God is the creator of my blessed children ... It seems in a blink my Emily has grown into a 4 year old (who thinks she is 13) and I am instantly transported back to that room in China where my heart grew to a capacity where it almost exploded ... She taught me of God's love ...I can hear Maggie calling out my name, "Mama" from her pretty pink bedroom and I can catch a memory flash of her hollow expression sitting in the hotel room in Changsha with her black eyes and know that only God could heal her this much in 9 months... She taught me to try and love like God ...I have no idea what my other two children will teach me, but I know my heart aches to learn what God has in store for me ...I am not ready and have never been ready for all that God holds in His hands for me, but I so desperately want all the blessings He will give ...

I seem to cry so much these days ... Tears of joy, Tears of exhaustion, Tears of success, Tears of happiness, Tears of love, Tears of stress, Tears of sorrow, Tears of admiration, Tears of thanksgiving, and most of all tears TO THE FATHER ... I love you Lord and thank you for my amazing family !!! I bow at the thought that you have saved all my tears in a bottle ....

28 kind words.:

Tracy said...

Those children are coming!....He's sealed it in your His heart and yours....so very precious!




Yard sale in 5 hours...yikes! :)

Tiffany said...

I love how you learn from Him, how you put it into such beautiful words. Thanks for sharing that with us. Your kiddos are a beautiful and amazing expression of the love that the Father has for you.

Love you!

Kim Kenward said...

You have such a HUGE heart, Gwen. Hang in there, my friend. Sending virtual (((hugs))) your way.

Diane said...

Not only is He holding your tears, but, He already is holding and knows your Abigail and Joseph!! Amazing Grace....can not wait to see the journey He is planning for your Team!!!

Happy Day!!

suzanne mayernick said...

i love you thelma! i'm so glad God gave you to me to walk this journey. love your passion, faith, and boldness! can't wait to see the lords plan unfold!

amy said...

God knows your desires my friend. He is in control
You ae prayed for

Maris Bush said...

Thanks for this blog Gwen! I have lots to look forward to :)

LaLa said...

You will bring them home. Your home is so full of love and there is more to share : )

monicalrobbins said...

I understand the tears...longing is so difficult. Our heavenly father loves our children so much more than we do, and He will keep them in His arms, tenderly loving them, until they are ready to be in yours. Praying for you, Gwen!

Gail said...

Also can't wait to see what God has planned for you and your family Gwen...you are in my prayers.

April said...

So beautiful Gwen and so true, God has so much in store for us if we are obedient to His calling in our lives....I know with our 2nd adoption of Marissa, it won't be our last, God has called us to make a difference and boy what a difference He has made it our lives all at the same time...I pray for you wherever God leads you next and for your future children!! God Bless..

lisa K. said...

I love your heart you hold for our Heavenly Father. I get encouraged when I read your posts. Thank you for sharing what the Lord is doing in your life. Can't wait for your book. I sent my dear friend to you (Amy A.)

We share your love of the orphans as we have 3 adopted ourselves. Just brought our last lil one home a month ago from Guatemala.

God bless you all! Love, LIsa

Steffie B. said...

Oh Gwen...I'm sorry I have not been in touch with you...my busy schedule should not interfere with our friendship....I'll call you this week....love you....hope we can see you before Thanksgiving! ;)
Hugs,
Steffie

Kelly said...

I wish I could articulate my feelings the way you do. I am right there with you. Love you so much.

Heather said...

Beautiful post Gwen, how amazing what the Father does to change our lives and allow us a snippet of the love He has for us when we become parents of our own little miracles...a constant reminder of how great and deep his devotion to us is.

Your babies will be home before you know it and you will wonder how did all that time go by so quickly;) Praying alongside you...

Love,
Heather

missy said...

Gwen,

I know you feel God's arms wrapped around you and while you wait for you new sweeties, rely on Him, talk to Him and take comfort in knowing that your babies were created by Him for YOU!!

You are such a sweet lady!

Anonymous said...

What a wonderful update! You are inspiring :-)

Take care, Sherri

www.caringbridge.org/oh/kara

Isabella's Mommy and Daddy said...

I am sooo excited to see what is next... Those two will bring you such amazing new adventures and you are such an amazing lady and your family is WONDERFUL..
Love ya girly..
HUGS..

Kristi J said...

What a great post!!! I'm glad you are writing a book because you are very talented in your writings...Thanks Sooooooooooooo much for coming to the airport tonight and making it that much more special. You are an amazing person and friend and we all truly appreciate your kindness and thoughtfulness....We'll both be in EThiopia before we know it, Kristi

Shelly and Family said...

What a beautiful post!!! There are times I too cry for all the same reasons you posted. It feels so good to know that I am not alone out there...Thank You!

corinne barfield said...

Corinney-here! My goodness, you girls are going to have me going to Ethiopia to adopt my own little baby as a single mom before I know it! :)

Loving your blog... and ready for your book!

Love to you! Looking forward to seeing what the Lord does! His grace is immeasurable!

Corinne

Terry said...

Oh girl! I know that longing and you're not the only one that is crying so many tears these days. I think so many of us weep for the children that are yet to join our families and for the ones that have been left behind.

They will come home to you! It is only a matter of time...His time. He already knows which children He will entrust to you and He already knows when they will be with you. Keep holding on to that.

Shawnstribe said...

Gwen so beautiful.
I am so there with you, i seem to have tears and more tears, He isdoing such a work in allour lives!!!!
Rest in the shadow of His wing and know that He has all of your dreams and hopes and plans safe in His love
xxx
s

jennifer said...

Love this post. I have been weepy too, I think God is doing something in my heart. Emily's video had alot to do with that. So awesome!

Jewels of My Heart said...

What beautiful words of love and wisdom...
I am praying for you and your babies...
God's Speed....
love you

mommy24treasures said...

what a touching post. You are such an inspring friend.

Chantelle Becking said...

What an awesome post. I stumbled upon your blog and when I read your words, I can SOOOO relate. I feel like I cry at the drop of a hat when it comes to so many things in life now. Kind of feel like I am seeing life in a much different way. We are on the waiting list for our newest family addition from Ethiopia! Can't wait to have another girl, and we have an almost 2 year old awesome chicita already from Guatemala. It is amazing what adoption does to your heart and mind. It has really kind of shown me a better picture of God and just how big He is!
Best luck in your process. I cannot wait to follow your journey!
Your kids are adorable...of course!
Chantelle

Krista ~ Bits and pieces said...

Gwen, we have cried many of the same tears. I am so thankful that God has been there as you and I shed everyone of them and has loved us through them.

Hugs,

Krista