I just want to be able to turn my mind off a bit ... AND I CAN'T SEEM TO DO IT !!!  The last nine months I have felt like I am in a BIG OLE FAT fog (not a bad one, but just a really crowded one) ... I know that God has placed many amazing journeys in my life and I feel his presence each step of the way, but the battle between FLESH and SPIRIT is so real ...I can flash back to about 4 years ago and say that today I miss my 2 hr work outs each day w/ nothing to think about, but competing w/ myself on the treadmill, or trying a new exercise ... I remember the days of going to the grocery store and remembering to buy everything on my list and then simply driving home to some crazy fun music to clean the house and organize my day ... It was all so simple and routine and neat ... I had a schedule and a plan ... I was happy and oblivious ...

Now hear me say that I wouldn't go back for all the money in the world, but I am desperately trying to find my BALANCE in the fog ... I have experienced JOY like only God can show, but this change doesn't come over night ... FLESH vs SPIRIT is an ongoing battle and sometimes I do ok ... I am like a warrior standing on a log in the middle of the river ... I have peace, balance, and the JOY to maneuver the journey we are on whether it is therapy, hospital, drivers test, prom, parenting issues, basketball games w/ the crew, the millions of school activities, projects or to do list ... and other times I will confess I am more like a woman in a boat w/out a paddle heading down a water fall ... lol ... Everything collides and gets jumbled up ... I am learning to accept how these two realities can and must co-exist and be ok w/ that ...

COMICAL, COMICAL, COMICAL, COMICAL !!! That is all I can say ... I choose not to let it bury me, but it does have its side effects and many of them are letting go of fleshly things, wants, and jealousy of others (just purging and putting it out there) ...

I just hope that you know you are not alone if you are on the SAME ROLLER COASTER of ups/down and feeling the real battle of FLESH VS SPIRIT ... Don't sweep it under the rug, but hit it head on ... Speak it out loud and equip yourself ... I am working on what my ARMOR needs to look like for this part of my journey ... I am sure it will change (as my life seems to do about ever 12 months ... hee hee) again ... I am thankful for the amazing 9 people in my home and how they help to make me the person I am ... I PRAY that I can teach them how to battle FLESH / SPIRIT and they will understand all the armor that is available to them in the WORD ...

blessings all and thanks for allowing me to be ME on the blog !!!

OK, I am going to give you all a big OLE fat laugh ... and something that will not surprise you ...

I AM IN A BIT OF FOG ... I am hot and heavy into parenting a 13 yr old and discussing what relationships will be in the FUTURE and yet facing some relational things now (that have my MAMA BEAR on high alert) all while trying to help Jeremiah set boundaries and then God places K in our home and now I am looking at PROM ... Did you hear me PROM !!! Please join me in my freak out won't you !!!! ... I am trying to wade through it like I am in the AMAZON JUNGLE here ... KNOWING that sweet K has lived life up until now on his own and has a history already of decisions and circumstances that I don't know about, yet I trust the Lord would love for us to help direct him ... He is amazing young man and seems to have a really good head on his shoulders, yet I know he is here for a reason and I want to make sure that we give him the tools he is going to need when he graduates next year ...

Parenting a 4 year old to an 18 year old is quite the JUGGLING / TIGHT ROPE act ... I wanna make sure everyone gets what they need, that we don't rush them growing up and yet prepare them for hard decisions ... PLACING GOD AT THE CENTER OF ALL OF IT !!!

Can you say I NEED A DIET COKE AND CHOCOLATE to calm all these nerves and clear out the fog a bit ... hee hee (just saying)