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Thursday, November 29, 2007

Post by Verna


Hi everyone,
I'm hoping Gwen does not mind me sharing this info. I am also hoping by knowing it, you will pray fervently for little Maggie to have her heart aches repaired by the Lord.
Here is an email I rec'd today. PLEASE PRAY!
Also, I have this set to send comments to her email. So, please leave a love note for her. Thanks.
~~~~~

V,
honestly, it is getting worse by the day ...barely holding on but God is GOOD ... I know she has so many hurts to heal ... she no longer likes anyone in the house but me ... her screaming fits last for hours ... average sleep a day is 4 hrs ... i feel helpless, and grow more in love with her each second .... her little eyes just break my heart ... they way she says my name is so sweet .... i am off to bed because she is a sleep ... just keep praying power of the Lord over her heart ...
Gwen

41 kind words.:

redmaryjanes said...

Gwen,
I just cry when I read these posts. I will continue to pray for Maggie and for the strength of your family. She has been through so much, there is so much that has to get out. I am so glad that you are letting her get it out. Bless you Gwen. If I had known who you really were when I met you, I would have been a stalker. I am amazed by you and so proud to know you. Your little girl will be ok. God has big plans for her.

Erin Miller said...

Gwen,

You don't know me, but I know Lindsey Wheeler. I have been watching your blog for some time. I just want you to know that I'm praying for you, for Maggie, and for the rest of your family. I can't even begin to imagine how trying this must be for all of you. Keep the faith; God is faithful. God did not bring you this far to leave you now.

Tammy said...

May God bless you with strength and peace and may He overwhelm little Maggie with His love and heal her hurts that only He knows about. May He also bless your other children with joy and peace through this, as well. I am praying for you all and cannot wait to see His gracious plan unfold in sweet Maggie's life.

Anonymous said...

Dear Gwen,

I have watched from afar and prayed along with all. My family thought of you daily while you were in China bringing home sweetie pie Maggie. We have been so deeply moved with love by this little girl and her blessed family and we've never even met!!! But...God knows us...knew us all from the very start...and He continues to know the road that lays ahead for His precious Maggie and family:)....That's right, family, Maggie has a family!!! AMAZINGLY AWESOME IS HE!! Continue to walk in His light even on the darkest days.

I will go to bed praying for you but praising God for you, too!! I thank him for placing sweet Maggie into your home along with your other three children. You see I too am an adoptive Mama to three daughters all born in Maggie's China....one of my daughters, Jadyn, was/is also a sweet special needs baby, however, she was institutionalized until we became her family at the age of five....special needs....two words to keep in memory....all of our adoptive children are really special needs in one way or another....Maggie just needs to work through this...not easy I know, but, blessed are they who show mercy!!!! You have been so merciful as Maggie's Mama....YOU CAN DO THIS GWEN....lifting your name and Maggie's into God's Hands, He's holding you both up!!!

Diane...Mama to Joe, Jen, Jana Mei, Jadyn Hua and JOY HUA

Jewels of My Heart said...

Oh, Gwen, it breaks my heart to think of your sweet Maggie hurting... You are all in my prayers and my heart. You are right... our God is good! He will get you all through this. He will give your beautiful little Maggie Beauty for Ashes and the Oil of Joy for Mourning... she will get through this... she now has her Mama, her Daddy, her brothers and sister and she has Jesus!
My son was 4 and a half when I first held him in my arms. He spent the begining of his life in an orphanage in Siberia. Prayer, love and holding therpy helped him to heal from alot of what he had suffered. She will learn to trust and your love and Jesus will heal her little heart. I am praying
God's healing and God's peace
Daleea

Kim said...

Gwen, I pray that you are getting some restful winks right now. My heart is breaking to hear how Maggie is struggling. But she does know that she can trust you. It's just a matter of time for her to really realize that. God chose you and Scott because he knew that your family was the perfect match for Maggie. She was born to be your daughter.=] I will pray that God will give you and your family the strength that you need for each day. PLEASE call me, I will come over during the day and help you out in any way. 754-5437 (while my kids are in school).
Your in our prayers every day!

holly m. said...

Gwen,

I'm here and praying for you.

Sara said...

Gwen,

I don't know if you'll remember me or not, but we met at Asian Invasion, and we have five kids, the youngest of which is Grace. I can connect with all you have written on so many levels, not just today, but always. We went through so much of what you describe with Grace, and it was one of the hardest times in our lives. There were times when I didn't think I could make it through. Hours of crying.... screaming ~ blood-curdling screams, like her very life were in danger. What would set it off? Anything really, but one example would be if our cheeks touched the top of her head when we reached down to hug her. She would cry so hard she would rupture the capillaries all over her body. The hard part was, we didn't know when it would end... not just that day (could be hours), but in general. It ended up being four horrific months followed by eight touchy ones. If someone had been able to tell me it would only be that long, it would've been easy enough. It was the just not knowing. Wondering if our lives had changed forever.

Let me encourage you with this. When we finally broke through, with a load of one way love and affection poured in consistently over the months, what we discovered was the most amazingly compassionate preschooler this world has ever known! And she continues to "pay it forward" to this day. She who has been forgiven much, who has been loved much, loves much. It seems like the crazier love we love them with the crazier the love they are able to dole out upon their healing.

Hang in there. I know you are exhausted! Physically, emotionally, financially, spiritually.

Friends of Gwen, if you want to know how to help, the best thing you can do is to lend stability to the other Oatsvall kids and love them well so she can be free to pour into Maggie. Her presence for Maggie is irreplaceable, but the other kids are secure in their mom and dad's love, so they are more able to receive a temporary form of nurturing. If you're at a loss for ideas, here are some: Give rides to school or activities, bring dinners, set up play dates, take the kids Christmas shopping, throw in a load of laundry, scrub a toilet or floor, overlook an unreturned email or phone call, help coordinate costumes for her kids Christmas programs, or remind Gwen that she can bring cookies to the school performance some other year. Beyond that, pray, and pray, and pray.

Gwen, there will never be a second chance at helping Maggie through this terrifying transition. You are doing the most good when you are on the floor reading a book to her or rolling a ball. It's more important than it appears, and more impactful than you realize. We, your friends, free you, even commission you, to sit on the floor and enjoy your long-awaited daughter. Stay in the peaceful eye of the hurricane season of our Savior's birth!

Blessings, my "virtual friend"! I will pray.
Sara Olson
Mom to Oodles of Olsons

nicole said...

dear gwen,
although we've never met, i hold you, maggie and your whole family close in my heart. i have been following your blog since before you left for china, and praying for you constantly. your last e-mail just breaks my heart. all i can say is that you are a true light of Christ in this world, and i could only hope to someday be the kind of woman & mother that you are.

when Jesus was just a baby Mary was told, "a sword too shall pierce your heart", and i was thinking tonight how she too must have suffered as she stood at the foot of the cross. the suffering of a mother for the sake of her child, and the prayers of a mother for her child are two of the purest channels of grace in this world that i can think of. you are a pure vessel of God's grace for maggie. never doubt for one moment that God's power is made perfect in our weakness (2 corinthians 12:9) and that our story does not end with the tomb. the resurrection day was for maggie & Jesus had her in his heart when He chose to die for her. the Light is coming...


i wanted to share this song with you that i hope will bless your heart http://nicole-shirilla.blogspot.com/2007/08/lyrics-for-abrahams-offering.html

God is with you, and we (your blog family) are covering you with love and prayers as you do the same for maggie~

your sister in Christ,
nicole

Maria said...

Also a BCS "family" member who received your blog info from Verna. I am praying for you, your sweet daughter, you to get some rest and for the rest of your family. God, the Physician, the Healer, and the Comforter is so much bigger than this. This poor, poor baby girl has been through so much and this love you have to offer her is so overwhelming to her, I know. She will come through; you will survive this. Pray, pray, pray and I will continue to lift you and her in prayers to our all-powerful Maker. He is the Maker and He has the Owner's Manual to fix all wrongs. :-)

Blessings,
Maria

Maria said...

After posting, I read through your blog and realize you are here in Nashville area -- where I am. If I can help in ANY WAY at all, please do not hesitate to let me know. Click my name to go to my blog where my email address is posted.

Continuing to lift you, my sister in Christ, to the One who can provide you peace,
Maria

Isabella's Mommy & Daddy said...

God Bless you all..
Hugs to you sweet little Maggie...
Mommy and Daddy and your brothers and sister love you to pieces...
In time you will know how much they adore you..
Kisses and hugs my sweet little angel..
Kim

KKamholz said...

i know things'll get better; hasn't even been two weeks yet since you've got home...it'll get better, i promise. i will absolutely pray for you, maggie and the rest of the family.

Anita said...

Dear Gwen,

Oh I've been praying and praying for you and Maggie and your whole family. I"m so so sorry to hear how hard Maggie is struggling to allow herself to trust and love and believe that she is safe. I pray for her healing, for strength beyond belief for you Gwen, for peace to take hold in your home for your other children, for insight for your husband, family and friends to know how and when to help. And, I pray that God Himself will hold you while you are holding her so that you know you are in HIS arms as well, Gwen, and can transfer that love and safety to her. Praying too for her doctor's appointments that God will use them to heal her physical needs. Though we've never met, you're in my heart and thoughts constantly my dear COP Momma!! HUGS and much LOVE, Anita - COP Momma to Kaylin

Lauren said...

Coach G -

We are praying for you and your precious Maggie. I can't imagine what you are dealing with specifically, but I can testify that God knows and is right there beside you. Sometimes people say, "God will never give you more than you can handle." This really isn't the whole story. He won't give you more than you can handle by being totally dependent on Him. He will carry you through (or pull you through!) and will surround you with the beautiful people you need to offer encouragment and help. I will be one of those people and will consistently pray for Maggie's acceptance that you truly love her unconditionally and for your (and the rest of the family's) strength and patiene. We love you.
Lauren McCay Byrne

Kristy said...

Beautiful words here from other bloggers - this blog worlds never ceases to amaze me. Such precious, dear people - all who are going before our Father for you - include me in with these folks too.
Your post made my heart ache, these comments made me cry.
I consider it an honor to pray for you all.......

Leigh Ann said...

Thinking of you all and wish we were closer. Sending you lots of love...

Seven Sojourners said...

I am a friend of Kimber Graves. Please know that I am praying for you. Know that our God is a restorer of souls (your daughters and yours) as you walk this path with Him. Please go to www.healinghannah.com (click under articles/resources). I have a dear and beautiful sister in Christ who experienced your exact circumstances with her sweet Chinese daughter. She is now on the other side of the pain with a restored daughter. Blessings, Tera Melber

Anonymous said...

Gwen & Family,
You don't know us, we are friends of Kenton and Grethchen. We have been watching your blog and praying daily for you, your family and sweet Maggie. What a testimony you and your family are to the relentles love of our Lord. You are a physical example of the pursuit of God on our behalf and restoration that is ours. Please know that you are in our prayers. We pray for healing, for strength, for wisdom and for glimmers of hope in each day. Blessings to you and yours. Thanks so much for sharing your journey.

Megan Lyons, Maple Valley, WA

Michelle said...

Gwen,

This is the first time I have read your blog. I was told that you were in need of prayer and want you to know that your family is being lifted up in my prayers! I can fully relate to what you are going through and I understand how this struggle can be hard on everyone in the family. We have been and still are in a similar situation. I don't go into much detail on our blog, simply because I have family that do not understand. Please know I understand how hard this is for you to watch Magggie grieve so very badly.

Hugs to all of your family as He helps to heal sweet, sweet Maggie!

Holladay Family said...

When she hurts I hurt. I know I don't know you but she is so little and has been through so much in her short little life. She has no way to verbally express what has been done to her. Her only outlet is to cry and disassociate with others. She doesn't trust others because others have failed her. I am sure she cried before and they hurt her. I am sure it will take years to heal any of the pain that those people have caused. She needs love. She really needs a baby attachment counselor. I have found that even babies can "talk" about their feelings through play and toys. She needs to get to a point where she can be guided to a more productive and positive approach to her feelings. My baby uses sign language. It is amazing how much happier he is when he can communicate with me. We buy these "signing times" videos made just for babies and toddlers. I am hoping that maybe if she can communicate better that she will begin to heal. The specialist will be very scary to her. My son has had many surgeries to "fix" his club feet. He now cries just by seeing someone in a doctors office. I wish you all the health and happiness and hope in the world. Your child will be healed, but it will take enormous amounts of love and kindness and patience. God Bless the little ones.

Anna said...

Gwen,
Seeing you today at school was such a blessing to everyone...every time i see you and Maggie I just want to cry because I can't do anything to help with what you and Maggie are going through...I love you both lots and pray every night that you two will have a good night's sleep...
hugs and kisses,
anna

Anna said...

Gwen,
Seeing you today at school was such a blessing to everyone...every time i see you and Maggie I just want to cry because I can't do anything to help with what you and Maggie are going through...I love you both lots and pray every night that you two will have a good night's sleep...
hugs and kisses,
anna

Kelly said...

I have been so burdened with the need to pray for you and your sweet Maggie and family. He is sufficient to meet all our needs. He is the source of our strength and He will give you rest. Praying God's hand to be evident in everything you see. He is the rock you can cling too!
Lots of Love!

Anonymous said...

Gwen,
My heart hurts. I can't think of anything but your family and sweet Maggie today. I wish there was something I could do to help.

Rachelle said...

Have been following your blog for a while now, never left a comment. I too am amazed at this blogging world of adoption. Just know you are in our prayers and that we know what you're going through. But God is faithful, and will bring you all through to the other side. Hugs.

Holly said...

I am so sorry your sweet little girl is having such a tough time. But things will get better soon, just keep doing what you are doing; giving her lots of love. I admire you and your family. You guys will get through this. Just hang in there. Keeping you in my prayers.

Mr.Brian said...

Gwen,
Please know that there are many people lifting Maggie and her family up in prayer.
I do not have the words to ease your pain.I do not have any advice to share,(since I have never been a parent except to dog).
I will be praying.
Mr.Brian

Gail and Dan said...

Dear Gwen, I have never posted on your blog before but found you through Verna. I am so sorry for what Maggie is going through. My family and I pray for Maggie to find peace and to get through these very hard times. I believe she will trust and her heart will heal. Please take care. We will keep you in our prayers.

Gail in WI

Marlee Belle said...

Oh wow. I have been praying but I will commit to more prayer and now I know some specifics. I think Sara had what sounds like some great advice. It seems that she has been right there. I can't begin to imagine the pain of watching the little girl you've longed to hold and bring into your family, having such a hard time with the adjustment. My prayer is for strenght for you, patience/understanding for the family, and quick transition for Maggie (as well as good news at the specialists)!!!

((((HUGS)))) & Prayers,
April
vietnambabygirlsmith.blogspot.com

Brenda said...

Gwen...We're here too, sending our thoughts and prayers...one day at a time

Laura said...

Gwen,

I have no wonderful words of wisdom. Others here on your blog have beautifully expressed words of encouragement for you and Maggie. Please know that I too will be praying for you guys. I pray that God will give Jeremiah, Elijah, and Emily an understanding so that they won't be jealous of the attention that Maggie needs from you right now. I pray that you will be granted the strength (physically, emotionally, and spiritually) to get through this rough time. I pray for Scott as he helps keep the household running while you're comforting Maggie. I pray for little Maggie that she will realize that no matter what, you guys love her and will not hurt her or abandon her.

I think of you everytime I drink a Mtn. Dew! (which is pretty much all day since I am a Mtn. Dew addict!)

Praying that the doctor's visit goes well!

Diana said...

I found your blog from someone elses and have enoyed reading it and now I feel I need to comment. My prayers are with you and your family. You will get through this with the stength you have..You are AMAZING!! Maggie is beauiful and she will thrive with your love.
Sending hugs and prayers.
Diana

mommy24treasures said...

I am praying friend. All of our prayers are powerful and effective. They are mighty.

Nicole said...

I will continue to pray that Maggie's heart learns to trust and heals from all the pain she was put through while not in your arms. I can't begin to imagine what you are going through, but I will keep you in my prayers! God loves you, your family, and will protect Maggie and eventually make this situation right. Someday you will look at her and remember the bad times, but know she remembers none of it...That's a true blessing.

Steffie B. said...

OMW....Gwen....look at all this love.....it is awesome...God's love through this wonderful adoption world that we are apart of! I love you dear friend....we are praying for you....I know you will get through this....say the word and Emmie and I are on a plane! ;)

Laura Nipper said...

I will continue to pray for you guys. The Lord will heal her heart and your family will grow closer together through all of this. In time she will know she is loved and will be able to get throw this major change in her little life.

redmaryjanes said...

You are on my mind Gwen and in my prayers. Sending our love to you and Maggie and your beautiful family.

Fliss and Mike Adventures said...

What gorgeous kids... hang in there... hugs to the family... as a family you will make it through...

Liz & Ava said...

Praying for you and Maggie! You will get the strenght to get through these rough times Gwen...you will...because you have to ...for Maggie.
Sending love from Liz and Ava

Kimber said...

Gwen,

I just want to tell you that I learned something so important from going down a difficult path with Kate. She did not have the medical issues Maggie has but we had a VERY hard adjustment for some time. Kate just began napping and sleeping thorugh the night (home 8 months now). I was so tired and was not sure I could go on and then it simply turned aoround. All of it. It was as though she thought...okay I have been home 8 months now...I can trust these people. A month ago she would not venture 6 inches away from me and now she goes to the church nursery! She sleeps 11 hours at night and 2 during the day. I guess it just needed to be on her time. What I learned is that all of those struggles and difficult times have bonded us in a way that we would not have if we had not struggled. My bond is in some ways stronger with her because of all that we have been through. I pray for everything you ask here and I know many others do too:)

Kim